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January 24, 2007
Two Days Later
I really had no idea that this was going to be like grieving for a person. I feel worse than when my grandmother passed away. The house just seems so empty without the Sophster. And I find myself wishing I had hugged her just one more time. I remember thinking that I'd have time for her again when Lily got to be a little older. Of course, I didn't have that time and now I feel a bit guilty about it. Another lesson in live now, say what you need to say to people, be with your family, because you don't know how much time you've got.
Sophie's dog food was freecycled. A dog named, ironically, Lily, is going to enjoy it. I also got a contact name for a local dog rescue, and plan to donate her meds and a few other things. We are keeping the dog crate, as when some time has passed and we have healed, I know we will have room in our hearts for another dog.
I was laying in bed with Lily at bedtime Monday night, and Lily said "Mommy cry more." No, I said, I'm all done crying for now. "Happy?" she asked. No, I'm still very sad. "Mommy love Sophie. Daddy love Sophie." Of course, THAT made me cry. Although she doesn't seem upset per se, it amazes me that she's perceptive enough to know how upset we are and why. We tried to explain in an age-appropriate way what was happening, and had her say goodbye to Sophie. She's asked about her a couple of times, but seems to accept the fact that she's gone. Adam and I, on the other hand, are not quite so accepting and are prone to burst into tears at the slightest provocation. It still seems so new and raw.
Posted by mwashburn at January 24, 2007 01:20 PMPosted to self reflection
Comments
I'm really sorry to hear about Sophie. My parents were absolutely heartbroken when they had to put their dog, an Alaskan Malamute, to sleep years ago. My dad will still get upset if you talk about Toby. It really is like losing a human member of your family.
Posted by: Carol at January 25, 2007 10:08 AM
I am sorry for your loss. Sometimes you will think you hear her, or see a shadow of her walk by- I am certain of that. (I still think Asland is around sometimes and then I remember he's not.) I wish I could have seen Soph to say goodbye, as I will always miss my good pal, one of the wiggle-puppies! xoxxo -R
Posted by: Robin at January 27, 2007 08:41 PM