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June 03, 2007
Bring on the Hillbillies!
This past Friday and Saturday we held our big garage sale; two friends also contributed stuff so it was a pretty impressive spread. For some reason we didn't make as much money as last year (could have been timing, location, who knows what) but it was entertaining nonetheless.
Highlights include:
• The soccer mom who dropped a glass perfume bottle, breaking the top, then nonchalantly told her son it was time to go, climbed back in her minivan, and left. I didn't say anything, but I was fuming.
• The neighbor from around the corner, who I had never met before, who stopped by to introduce herself, then proceeded to ask me every nosy question under the sun, starting with "Why are you selling all your baby clothes? Aren't you having more children?" and ending with "What church do you go to?"
• The earlybirds who insisted upon nosing around my garage at 6:45 even though the signs said 8am - 3pm. "I'm just getting set up." "That's ok!" as they brush past me into the garage.
• The truck full of hillbilies, including a 200 lb woman with buttons missing and no bra who waddled up to me (after scooping EVERYTHING out of the box marked "Free") and said "Can I get a bag for all this freebie shit?"
• The woman who let her children knock almost everything off the toy table onto the lawn, and didn't even attempt to pick up after them or ask them to pick up after themselves.
• The woman (probably in her 60s) who noticed my friend's toddler's IU basketball outfit and proceeded to launch into a diatribe against IU, where she went to graduate school: "That place is a trash heap! They didn't like women in my department. Full of queers!" My friend and I just looked at each other, dumbstruck.
The moral of the story is that I just don't like people very much. But somehow, I'll tolerate them for two days straight to get rid of my crap and take their ones and quarters. I have no pride.
Posted by mwashburn at June 3, 2007 10:13 AMPosted to True Stories
Comments
DAMN funny.
Posted by: b at June 4, 2007 11:17 AM
Glad you enjoy my intolerance.
Posted by: flygrrl at June 4, 2007 04:06 PM
Wow, I've had some garage sales in my time, even the early birds, but I've never had high-quality white trash like this.
Posted by: Jez at June 4, 2007 09:01 PM
Awsome. Remind me to never go to a garage sale in your neck of the woods.
Posted by: leigh at June 4, 2007 10:14 PM