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October 31, 2007
Bitch, Bitch, Bitch
I, at this point in my life, probably should not be allowed to complain. But complain I shall. Though, as a rule, I do not talk about work on my blog, let me just speak in generalities for a moment. Everyone wants everything immediately and cheaply, and don't really care how that impacts the quality of life of anyone else on the planet, economically, environmentally, or otherwise. No one is interested in really paying for design. The first question, before the parameters for a project are even discussed, is "how much?" And, as an aside, I really really HATE being called "sweetheart," "hon," or "honey," and I don't give a damn if it's a man or a woman saying it, I find it extremely condescending.
Other things that annoy me, in no particular order:
1. I'm still sick. This is ridiculous; it's been over a month now. I found out I might actually have had croup, and not bronchitis. I'm still very congested and seem to go from better to worse and back again over the span of a few days.
2. The fact that my idiotic misunderstanding of exchange rates caused me to pay $21 for Radiohead's In Rainbows instead of the $5 or so I intended.
3. The fact that my daughter was one of only three girls in her entire preschool not dressed as a fairy, princess, fairy princess, or whore/witch for this morning's Halloween parade. Even in the realm of fantasy our daughters are proscribed narrow gender-stereotyped roles as assigned by the Holiday Promotional aisle at Target.
4. Every time we pay off some of our household debts, more appear. What's that? You had a windfall and can pay down your home equity loan? Car accident! Oh, catching up are we? Remember that 0% interest retail credit card you used when you fixed your about-to-cave-in roof? Yep. That's due now. Fuck.
5. For the first time in, well, forever, we are probably gonna be alone on Thanksgiving. I don't say that to try to induce guilt in anyone we've invited who can't make it. I totally understand that most people have plans, and our event was usually just a fun and unexpected catch-all of people who were similarly resigned to staying in this part of the country. I just enjoy it a lot. There's just no way for us to travel to see family for it this year either. That will have to wait for Christmas.
And that whole train of thought sort of syncs up nicely with the melancholy induced by my current reading material. I'm reading the heartbreaking Mohawk by Richard Russo, who is from my sad little hometown in upstate New York. It's set in my home town, and though some of the people and places are shifted around slightly and names changed, I can just picture in such a real way these people and places, and it makes me homesick in a very weird way. From what he's said in interviews, I am now really really anxious to read Russo's new book, Bridge of Sighs, as it deals with a lot of the same ideas but looks at people who got out. The idea that staying=failure but leaving means severing family ties and lots of heartbreak too, and what became of those we left behind. It's just weird to understand his work on such a personal level (though he is my parents age, so generational differences apply).
In any case, I think I'll enjoy another beer and some Halloween candy, and try to keep it together until the weekend.
Posted by mwashburn at October 31, 2007 06:38 PMPosted to literature | self reflection
Comments
I suppose downward spirals have been triggered by more trivial things than cheapskates calling one sweetheart...
but, y'know, whatever floats (or sinks) your boat.
Posted by: Adam at October 31, 2007 08:23 PM